Grief

Grief is a multi-faceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, and philosophical dimensions. While the terms are often used interchangeably, bereavement refers to the state of loss, and grief is the reaction to loss.

Reading this has made me realise that grief needs be dealt with, faced head on and given respect. No matter how often you try and avoid it it's going to come at you like an angry bull.

How does one deal with it though? I've tried riding it out but it's like white water rafting and bloody scary. I've tried to sneak past it but it's there like the devil on my shoulder "He's gone and he doesn't love you anymore, no one does because you're unlovable" he sneers at me.

If it was a death you'd have the funeral and the wake, people talking about what a man he was and how he will be missed. But all I hear everywhere I go is how horrible my situation must be... Is it? I hadn't noticed!

I've decided that now it is time to stop grieving and start living but where do I start? How do I start to live my life? I'm tied by the shackles of work, children, cooking, cleaning and other mundanes that make up most of my pathetic life. I wouldn't even know how to begin to move on from this.

Ive decided though, that I'm going to go out on Friday. Time to dress up and go out to play. It probably won't ease the feelings of loss but it surely can't hurt.

You never know, something might just jump start me into life again...